34: Sweet dreams and all that

I woke up crying this morning.

I had this really, really realistic dream of my Pappy. He knew he was dead, and he was speaking to me.

Now, in this dream, I was also pregnant and Lauren and Jordan were there and there was a diving competition off a really scenic cliff that kinda reminds me of Lake Hylia in Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. But I wasn't allowed to dive cause I was pregnant, you know? And we had this trainer that "claimed" to see Pappy and then this friend actually saw him and we ran off the stupid trainer. It was ridiculous when I say it, but you know what dreams are like; it makes sense when you're in them.

But... Just before I woke up, my grandfather, my Pappy, spoke right to me. I can't remember what he said, but I remember being happy, content. And sad, because he knew he was gone.

And I woke up crying. I kinda kept calling Lauren. But you know what HTCs are like, one bit of water and the screen spaces out. So I accidentally called, like, 5 people. But in the end, I got ahold of Lauren, and she sat on the phone an listened and told me to have a bath (it's a thing we both do when we feel like crap; we have a bath) and then sat and made me smile.

It was a harsh morning, but it was... Nice to see Pappy, even if it was a dream. He's been dead for over a year now... And it was so realistic. It looked exactly like him, like when he used to sit on the patio at my house in Spain and he used to sit in the sun. My Nanny used to say he's like a lizard, he will always find the sun to bask in. I always remember him say in the green deck chair, head titled up towards the sun, his sandals he always wore, fanny pack he never went without, and shirt open, lazing in the sun for hours, slowing turning browner. He looks so peaceful. Looked... So peaceful.

I miss him.

Saph.