Lets just say, I'm a bit loose around the edges these days. I'm forgetting things, not able to control anything that I do, I'm twitchy, and you know? I'm pretty volatile to anybody I deem unimportant. Which is pretty much everyone but a few.
There's something wrong, but I feel kinda good doing it. Which means that it's really wrong, because I've been this way before, and it did not end well. It never ends well. But I have no idea how to get my mind back, under control.
If I wait it out, I may never get myself back. If I try to get help again, it'll take to long and I may have already lost it. I tried to tell my mum, but she didn't understand. I can't feel things anymore. She thinks it's just stress of college getting back to me, but it's not. It's been a long time coming for me to loose myself this much. I just didn't want to see it. She says I'm okay with my friends, but I barely remember anything that I'm doing or have done near them. I don't remember doing my work, I don't remember jokes that I've told, things I just said seconds before. I can't remember. And it's scaring me. And I think Mum is starting to realize something it wrong with me again.
I don't want something to be wrong. I was getting better. Atleast my new friends (mainly Lauren) have just passed it of as me being a bit odd. But how long till they realize it's something more? Deeper? Something that needs to be fixed...?
Saph
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